I want to express my sincerest pity for those who impress their unwholesome lifestyles upon others. Why do I even take the time to focus my thoughts in the direction of people who would most often be considered "bullies?" Because when I reflect upon the nature of a word like "unwholesome," it triggers another word in my mind: "incomplete." These people are lacking in wholeness. They are un-whole, if you will. They are not satisfied in who they are, so they seek to project their broken identities onto the people around them in hopes that they will find completeness in the brokenness of others.
Being Normal
Really, this idea of peer pressure or "behavioral infection" transcends the people who are actually involved in committing the act. I believe it is the very nature of evil to attempt to reproduce. It is always seeking acceptance. It is never merely content to simply be what it is , do what it does, or say what it says. It needs everyone around it being like it, acting like it, and speaking like it. Evil isn't truly satisfied in itself because it isn't naturally justified by inherent goodness and rightness. So, it seeks to justify itself by recreating the world around it in its image. Perhaps, if EVERYONE has accepted it, it will become normal. And if it becomes normal, perhaps it will then be right and whole. But, that's the pesky thing about moral absolutes--they don't change just because people do.
Close to Home
Let's make this personal. Think of the last time you got caught up in some way of thinking, speaking, or acting that you weren't quite sure about. Maybe you had heard your entire life that this behavior was wrong, but, because you're a progressive one, you decided to give this behavior a shot. After all, you wanted to cherish your freedom and make decisions for yourself. But as this behavior took its toll, you recognized that you weren't comfortable simply allowing it to be apart of your routine, you needed to inject it into those around you in order to feel justified. Or you decided to change the crowd you associate with, so that the people around you condoned your behavior. If this has happened to you, you very well might be in danger of violating your conscience, even if you don't realize it.
A Few Things to Remember
- If you doubt, don't.
Many of us would make better decisions if we would listen to the "little voice" that pops up in the back of our heads as soon as we enter uncharted territory. Please understand that I am not advocating fear in the face of uncertainty or adventure. I am, however, saying that just because something is new or exciting doesn't necessarily mean it is good and right. If you have doubts about the moral rightness of your actions, steer clear. Try something else. I guarantee you that there are countless other good things available to fill your mind, your time, and your hands. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you have absolute faith and certainty in the goodness and constructive nature of your actions. Don't find yourself at a loss, filled with guilt and confusion because of unanswered questions you could have avoided altogether.
- Peer pressure is NOT about those being pressured.
It is always about those laying on the pressure. People doing such things are not concerned with the wellbeing of those around them; they are only thinking of how to justify themselves in actions that go against their own consciences. If you value your fellowman, don't be someone who pressures others into doing things they aren't comfortable with or be someone who will cave to those who are pressuring you. Like I mentioned in the paragraph about evil, these people simply want to create their own little worlds in their own little images. They can't stand being alone in their filth. If they have to wallow, so does everyone else.
- Test it.
If doubting is not enough to prevent you from making decisions with questionable moral outcomes, then try another test. Ask yourself this question, "Am I comfortable to do, speak, or think this way without desiring others around me to participate?" If it is vital to surround yourself with like-minded people in order to feel good about your actions, you probably aren't doing the right thing. And I would say it is definitely wrong if you feel like a "salesman" of this type of behavior. If you feel the need to pressure others to do it, then it's best to reevaluate the behavior.
Content, Whole, and Happy
The funny thing about moral goodness or righteousness is that it is content to be itself in every environment, at every moment, and in every circumstance. It doesn't need the approval or imitation of surrounding individuals because it is already approved and complete. One truly righteous man doesn't feel the need to pressure or infect others with his way of life. He can stand alone in a room filled with people who are bowing down to an immoral system and be completely at peace. Often times, he ends up inspiring those around him to be better and becomes infectious without even trying.
Concluding Thoughts
So, if you're starving for contentment and peace, try putting away the things in life that are filling you with uncertainty or keeping you from doing and saying the things you absolutely know to be right. Spend your days doing the things you're certain of, not the things you're unsure about. How can you go wrong? There will be plenty of tough choices in life; don't pile extra, unnecessary ones on. The right thing will usually require more strength and perseverance. It will often entail adventure and hardship. But it will reward you with a character refined in the fire and stronger because of it. Isn't that the kind of people we all want to be? Pure of heart, strong in wisdom, and content at all times? I know I do. Those are the kind of people that infect the world without even trying to.
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