Behavioral Infection

I want to express my sincerest pity for those who impress their unwholesome lifestyles upon others. Why do I even take the time to focus my thoughts in the direction of people who would most often be considered "bullies?" Because when I reflect upon the nature of a word like "unwholesome," it triggers another word in my mind: "incomplete." These people are lacking in wholeness. They are un-whole, if you will. They are not satisfied in who they are, so they seek to project their broken identities onto the people around them in hopes that they will find completeness in the brokenness of others. 
Being Normal 

Really, this idea of peer pressure or "behavioral infection" transcends the people who are actually involved in committing the act. I believe it is the very nature of evil to attempt to reproduce. It is always seeking acceptance. It is never merely content to simply be what it is , do what it does, or say what it says. It needs everyone around it being like it, acting like it, and speaking like it. Evil isn't truly satisfied in itself because it isn't naturally justified by inherent goodness and rightness. So, it seeks to justify itself by recreating the world around it in its image. Perhaps, if EVERYONE has accepted it, it will become normal. And if it becomes normal, perhaps it will then be right and whole. But, that's the pesky thing about moral absolutes--they don't change just because people do. 

Close to Home 

Let's make this personal. Think of the last time you got caught up in some way of thinking, speaking, or acting that you weren't quite sure about. Maybe you had heard your entire life that this behavior was wrong, but, because you're a progressive one, you decided to give this behavior a shot. After all, you wanted to cherish your freedom and make decisions for yourself. But as this behavior took its toll, you recognized that you weren't comfortable simply allowing it to be apart of your routine, you needed to inject it into those around you in order to feel justified. Or you decided to change the crowd you associate with, so that the people around you condoned your behavior. If this has happened to you, you very well might be in danger of violating your conscience, even if you don't realize it. 

A Few Things to Remember 

- If you doubt, don't. 

Many of us would make better decisions if we would listen to the "little voice" that pops up in the back of our heads as soon as we enter uncharted territory. Please understand that I am not advocating fear in the face of uncertainty or adventure. I am, however, saying that just because something is new or exciting doesn't necessarily mean it is good and right. If you have doubts about the moral rightness of your actions, steer clear. Try something else. I guarantee you that there are countless other good things available to fill your mind, your time, and your hands. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you have absolute faith and certainty in the goodness and constructive nature of your actions. Don't find yourself at a loss, filled with guilt and confusion because of unanswered questions you could have avoided altogether. 

- Peer pressure is NOT about those being pressured. 

It is always about those laying on the pressure. People doing such things are not concerned with the wellbeing of those around them; they are only thinking of how to justify themselves in actions that go against their own consciences. If you value your fellowman, don't be someone who pressures others into doing things they aren't comfortable with or be someone who will cave to those who are pressuring you. Like I mentioned in the paragraph about evil, these people simply want to create their own little worlds in their own little images. They can't stand being alone in their filth. If they have to wallow, so does everyone else. 

- Test it. 

If doubting is not enough to prevent you from making decisions with questionable moral outcomes, then try another test. Ask yourself this question, "Am I comfortable to do, speak, or think this way without desiring others around me to participate?" If it is vital to surround yourself with like-minded people in order to feel good about your actions, you probably aren't doing the right thing. And I would say it is definitely wrong if you feel like a "salesman" of this type of behavior. If you feel the need to pressure others to do it, then it's best to reevaluate the behavior. 

Content, Whole, and Happy

The funny thing about moral goodness or righteousness is that it is content to be itself in every environment, at every moment, and in every circumstance. It doesn't need the approval or imitation of surrounding individuals because it is already approved and complete. One truly righteous man doesn't feel the need to pressure or infect others with his way of life. He can stand alone in a room filled with people who are bowing down to an immoral system and be completely at peace. Often times, he ends up inspiring those around him to be better and becomes infectious without even trying. 

Concluding Thoughts

So, if you're starving for contentment and peace, try putting away the things in life that are filling you with uncertainty or keeping you from doing and saying the things you absolutely know to be right. Spend your days doing the things you're certain of, not the things you're unsure about. How can you go wrong? There will be plenty of tough choices in life; don't pile extra, unnecessary ones on. The right thing will usually require more strength and perseverance. It will often entail adventure and hardship. But it will reward you with a character refined in the fire and stronger because of it. Isn't that the kind of people we all want to be? Pure of heart, strong in wisdom, and content at all times? I know I do. Those are the kind of people that infect the world without even trying to. 

Monumental

Monumental

In the past few months I’ve been experimenting with something I have never tried—talking to people. Now, before you jump to conclusions, let me explain. I have friends from the circles that I have lived in throughout my life: church, high school, college, music gigs, etc. But lately, I have just started striking up conversations with people in public places.

For example, I met a man on a flight to Nashville, and he ended up having some amazing stories. His occupation involved pioneering revolutionary medical technology, and the amount of famous (and infamous) people that he had crossed paths with in his lifetime was impressive to say the least. All it took to get to know this guy was me saying, “hello.” I took his business card, and, admittedly, my initial thought was about “networking.” I knew that he could be a very beneficial relationship in the long run. But after the flight, I took some time to think about the fact that, even if I never spoke to this guy again, the relationship had already been beneficial. I was afforded the opportunity to meet and hear the stories of an incredible person.

So, why am I saying all of this? Recently, I had a conversation with another person I had just met about the tendencies of people, like myself, to simply pass over hundreds of chances to get to know the others around us. During this conversation, many interesting points were made, but I took away something that I would like to share with you. For you to understand it, however, you will have to participate in a brief mental exercise with me.

The Experiment:

Think for a moment about the Eifel Tower and the Great Wall of China. Think about the Empire State Building and the Washington Monument. Think about the Louvre and Taj Mahal. Alright, have you thought about these breathtaking structures? Now, think of the person or people who designed the Eifel Tower or the Great Wall. Think of the hands that laid the foundations of the Empire State Building. Can you? Do you have any idea what the person’s name was who dreamed up the architectural plan for the Louvre? My guess is that most people who read this article won’t have any idea who the people are behind these great feats of human ingenuity.

Redefining Greatness:

The question I must ask is this—what is more important? An extraordinary piece of artwork or the calloused hands that painted it? What is more baffling? A game-changing business model or the mind that envisioned it? What is more awe-inspiring? A skyscraper built to the low levels of Heaven or the architect who, in his intellect and brilliance, both imagined the structure and made it workable in the realm of physics, bringing it to reality? My point is that the man-made (or woman-made) things we all appreciate in any sphere of life originated in the minds of real people, who, for all intents and purposes, are just like you and me. The key is to hear the phrase, “just like you and me,” and instead of associating that with words like “mundane” or “average,” associate it with words like “valuable” and “capable.”

All humans have inherent value, and if we recognize that, we will learn to see the potential in ourselves and in those around us. Think about it. Across the coffee shop may be the next Mariah Carey. There may live a man in your neighborhood who is inventing the next MacBook. In the shopping cart of a young mother may sit a child, who will pioneer a mission to Mars. These things sound huge and unlikely, but nobody thinks any random person around him will do something spectacular until that person does something spectacular. What if you had been around to meet Frank Sinatra before he was famous? What did people think of him before they heard his silky smooth voice? What if you had been George Washington’s childhood best friend? Would people have thought him a leader of leaders before he proved he was? What if you were actually created to accomplish the wildest dreams and visions in your heart, and the people around you were too?

Conclusion:

Understanding your value and the value of every single person you see is the key to living a much more interesting and beautiful life. So, go meet someone. Be a little more trusting in a world shrouded with shadows of suspicion. See the hidden potential in the most unlikely folks. Because people are valuable. People are precious. People are the greatest achievements, not art, or buildings, or status. People are monumental. 

The One: 3 Myths About the Love of Your Life

The One: 3 Myths About the Love of Your Life

Alright, so it's time to delve into the ever-pressing topic of romantic relationships. It seems as if every writer on the internet, every actor in Hollywood, every pastor in every pulpit, and every magazine has something to say about them right now. If there is a medium of communication in existence, it is most likely heralding something about dating or marriage relationships frequently. And rightly so. These things are important. People have desires and dreams regarding romance, and they want to know if they are making the right decisions in this often-confusing process. 

A conversation I had with a friend the other day got me thinking about this topic in particular: what does it look like to find "the one?" Most of us have asked questions like: "is there anyone in the world made just for me?" or "Has God hand-crafted a person that fits every facet of my life perfectly? If so, how do I find that person?" It can seem overwhelming and even hopeless at times. So, I'd like to grace you with some information that has assisted me in this journey. 

What follows are three myths we need to take into consideration while searching for life mates. Before I go into the myths, however, I want to take a second to compare the love of your life with Schrodinger's Cat. Schrodinger's Cat was a theoretical physics experiment that essentially stated that a cat put in a box with some poison could be both dead and alive at the same time. Regardless of how you feel about the concept behind this famous "experiment," I would like to present "the one" in a similar fashion. 

So, without further ado: 

Myth #1: "The one" exists

I hate to break it to you, but there is not a word in all of Holy Scripture that promises each and every person a life partner. And there is DEFINITELY not one that promises a life partner, perfectly pre-ordered and precisely contoured to every shape of your life. Only Hollywood and fairytales promise dreams like this one. And while they are soothing fantasies, that is all they are. 

Now, don't get me wrong. I believe wholeheartedly that someone in this world can be everything you need that person to be to have a healthy, life-long relationship. In fact, I believe there are multiple people in this world who can fill that role, seeing as how there are so many choices. 

Response: In light of this understanding, we need to know how to handle it. The most important thing we can do is have a solid and honest understanding of who we are and what traits we have that can compliment and be complimented by the traits of others. In other words,  know yourself! You cannot go into a relationship with any doubts about your identity. You also need to know what you're looking for! Set aside time to think and pray about the kind of person you would fit well with long term. You may not know exactly who that is, but you can formulate a workable theory, so you'll be ready when you meet someone. 

Myth #2: "The one" doesn't exist

Wait, what?! "You just said that 'the one' doesn't exist!" An astute observation, indeed. I did say that. This is where my imperfect Schrodinger's Cat theory comes in. I believe that there is someone who can be so insanely perfect for you that he or she becomes "the one" (though I use the term "perfect" very lightly). The one is both existent and non-existent. He or she is existent in that he or she is probably on this earth right now, but non-existent in the sense that you have options. Though I believe multiple people are capable of filling this role for you, there will be only one who comes into your life at some point to put form and color to the shadow in your imagination. So, in that way, this person does exist. The key is that they may not yet exist in the right form. 

Response: In light of this seemingly contradictory understanding, we need to know how to handle it. Re-read response one. Understanding who you are, who you need to be, and the kind of person you need to be with is of utmost importance. The only thing I will add in response to myth #2 is that you need not be discouraged! Have hope! You can look at a world full of billions of people as an intimidating haystack in which you have to discover one person perfect for you. Or you can look at a world full of billions of people as an abundance of choices, ensuring that you won't have to settle. You have time. You have opportunity. You have choices. Don't spend your days worrying; spend them learning and growing! 

Myth #3: "The one" will be "the one" as soon as you meet him or her

This flows right out of myth #2. Number 2 deals with the fact that there is a "the one," but number 3 deals with how and how quickly this person becomes the love of your life. Contrary to popular belief, being with someone IS about changing. But it's not so much about changing your identity as it is evolving into a better version of the person you already are. The basic principles and foundation of your identity should be long understood and in place, but the building blocks that are piled onto your character in response to an intimate relationship with another person will change you in many ways.

I have never formed a close relationship (romantic or otherwise) that did not involve some level of change in response to that person's differences. We have all been shaped as people, and we chisel away edges and bend and stretch to fit the shapes of new relationships in our lives. If we didn't change to some extent as a result of our relationships (whether it be in our opinions, the loss of negative character traits, or even just the addition of memories), I would say we haven't really gone deep enough. Things only form when they have been molded. 

So, how does someone become "the one?" First, he or she takes the advice of the response to myth #1. Then he or she takes the advice to the response of myth #2. Then, he or she accepts that you are worth the changes that need to be made. Those changes probably won't happen overnight. Realizing that a person's core identity and character is something that lines up with yours is what enables you both to become "the one" for each other. You get to build something together. It has to start with solid, separate foundations, but it can morph into something that fits together so well, you might just think it came out of one of those fairytales. 

I'll say to you what I said to my aforementioned friend, "I believe many people have potential to be the one, as a result of time, effort, commitment, and genuine, loving actions. It's a person's character that makes him right or wrong for you. And it's a person's actions that mold his character." If someone loves you enough, that person will do everything in his or her power to become "the one" for you, no matter how long it takes. I think the key is realizing that life with the person you love is spent becoming "the one" you both need each other to be. 

The 15-Minute Holiday

The 15-Minute Holiday

  

Holidays are funny to me. Think about it. All they really are is a testament to the fact that humans underappreciate the important things in their daily lives. We set aside days like Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, and even Christmas to help us remember to do things we should be doing all year—things like being thankful for our loved ones, for those who have fallen in the struggle for our freedom, and for the birth of Christ.

Now, in a way, I consider setting aside holidays a subtle expression of humility, however inadvertent. Because we understand that our minds just aren’t powerful enough to perfectly accommodate memories and thoughts of all we have to be thankful for every single day. So, before I go any further I want to say that this is NOT a holiday-bashing piece. I love Christmas. I love breaks. I love gift-giving. I love dedicating deeper levels of thought to the beautiful things in life. I love celebrating my family and people who have inspired me.

This is the point—holidays often bring us much joy, a greater capacity for personal reflection, and a more refined and tangible sense of what is truly important. They cause us to slow down or perhaps “speed up” other things that have slowed down in the wake of our busy work schedules. The specifics of what holidays do for each person are different, but one thing I notice is that people tend to function at a higher level when they give themselves time to receive the things mentioned in the first sentence of this paragraph.

So, this is my challenge—what if we implemented 5, 10, or 15-minute “holidays” into every day of our lives? How many things in our lives would change if we started off our days with focus on what brings us the most joy, and took a little time to reflect on the kind of people life is shaping us into and how that lines up with the people we really want to be, and honed in on the things we know to be of utmost importance? Would it change how many hours we put in at “work,” avoiding tough, yet inevitable, conversations with family members? Would it change the amount of time we spend simply decaying in front of a television? Would it increase the amount of phone calls we give our grandparents? Would it help us if we actually had oxygen to breath in the midst of “marathon” days?

Take my advice. Take a 15-minute holiday every morning, and think about what matters the most. Read. Journal. Think. Pray. You might just find yourself a little more thankful, a little less tense, and little bit happier. 

My De-Vices

De-Vices

(My Technology-Related Meltdown)

My cellphone service got cut today, and though it was a mishap that was resolved quickly, I am not proud of the way I handled it. Let me set the tone for a moment. I am on the road, and I lift my phone to my lips and say, “Siri, call McAlister’s.” Normally, Siri knows exactly what to do, and very soon, thanks to my automated personal assistant, I am on the line with one of my favorite restaurants, making a call-in order. But, to paraphrase Aragorn’s famous speech, not this day! I was informed that Siri was no longer available because I had no internet connection. I was perplexed, but I figured it must just be bad service. So, I drove to McAlister’s and tried to make a call, only to hear an automated voice inform me that my service had been temporarily canceled.

Okay. So, what would your response have been? Here’s what I wish mine would have been, “Oh, that’s strange. No problem. I have a vehicle; I’ll just drive home and get the matter cleared up shortly.” Unfortunately, my response was a bit more dramatic. Actually, I have to be painfully honest with all of you. I flipped out. I was somewhat distraught, trying to figure out whom I could blame for this tragedy. I was questioning the providential forces at play and getting genuinely angry that some loser at the cellular company had made a mistake. And that is all it was, a mistake, resolved (somewhat ironically) with a phone call.

Why am I telling you this? Because later, I was driving down the road, and it hit me, I have a problem. My outlandish frustration was utterly ridiculous. What was I actually cut off from during those “precarious” minutes of service-less life? Civilization? Nope. Food, water, or shelter? Nope. My family and friends? I had a car and usable phones all around me in case of an emergency, so nope. The only thing about my day that was actually altered or compromised was the fact that I had to order at the restaurant instead of over the phone and that I couldn’t check Facebook, Twitter, or Google+ while I was waiting for my food. Looking at my response in hindsight makes me feel pathetic.

But think with me for a moment. How many times have you checked your pocket quickly (out of fear), looking for your phone, only to realize you were holding it in your other hand? How many times have you closed a social networking app and then immediately opened it right back up because you had just run out of things to do, not even realizing you had opened the same app? How many times have you reluctantly handed your phone to someone else and kept eyes on that person the entire time he or she had your phone, simply because you didn’t trust him or her with your “personal information?” If any of these scenarios or variations of them apply to you, then I am here to inform you that you are not alone.

I am amazed at just how much value I place on my phone. And it has to stop. I make a public apology to every single person I have ever had personal contact with, where I chose to favor the seductive pull of a cold, lifeless screen over the warmth of personal interaction with you. My name is J.P. Edwards, and I have loved my phone and what it can do more than I have loved you and God. Perhaps not “loved” in the theoretical or emotional sense, but certainly the practical sense. I have given it more of my time. I have protected it fiercely. I have loved it dearly. And (please excuse another Lord of the Rings reference) I have made it “my precious.”

Let it never be said of me that I freak out more over the temporary loss of cell phone service than I do upon hearing that there has been a shooting at a school, or seeing an ambulance at the scene of a wreck, or even hearing my friend say he struggles with depression. I want to be more concerned about the state of the people around me than I am about the state of the thing that is, at it’s core, simply a tool to connect me more deeply to the people around me.

So, here is a little anecdote I jotted down. Take it, or leave it. If you hate it, and it doesn’t help you, just pretend the blog ended at the last sentence of the previous paragraph.

My devices have devised a plan to become vices to me.

Therefore, I must devise a plan to be free of these devices and de-vice myself.

Buried Alive

Buried Alive

As a writer and an artist, I feel as if I never quite arrive, like there is always a next step. It's not that my old work is not satisfactory in and of itself; it is that I am not satisfied with it alone. I am not sure a pièce de résistance actually exists in the mind of a sub-creator, like myself. In fact, I am quite convinced it is and will always be work of fiction for two reasons: 1. "Best work" is subjective, and 2. If it is not my last work, how can I know if it is the best work of my life?

"The One," the greatest work of an artist's lifetime, could not be known to him during his lifetime. He could pour everything he has, heart and soul, into this masterpiece. He could intimately know it and everything about it and savor every emotion he felt while creating it. Yet, he will never have the privilege of acknowledging it as his greatest work. Why? Because in the mind of a crafter, he is not finished until he takes his last breath. 

Some may consider this reality a curse, but, upon reflection, I consider it pure, raw motivation. An artist should be able to draw inspiration from the magnum opera of others, and leave it it to others to eventually draw inspiration from his own. It cultivates humility, a continued awe at the wonders and beauty of life, and a need to keep working. 

We are driven to do what God has placed us on this earth to do until the day we are rendered physically, mentally, and emotionally incapable of doing so—the day we are buried. Artists must continue. They have to. They do not have a choice. No artist can ever say, "Yes! That is the one! I will never need to create again," because it is also to say, "I no longer need to carry out my purpose. There is nowhere else to go, no greater feat to be achieved." Not only would that be a lie told in arrogance, but it would be the bane of one's God-given purpose and turn one’s existence into a meaningless shell of nothingness. 

Death is inevitable, but life is creating. Life is working. Life is doing. Like I said, an artist will not be truly finished until he is dead and buried, but to finish before one is dead is to be buried alive.