The Long-suffering Process of Duck Herding

Quilts

What if the defining elements of our uniqueness are not what set us apart from our fellowman, but the things that knit us together? What if our individual characteristics are designed to be small, beautiful shapes sewn within a massive quilt of pristine patchwork? What if individualism is not about rising above other humans on the ladder or isolating ourselves from them, but finding out how our own skills, talents, desires, and personalities unite around a common thread that runs through us all?

Perhaps the most glorious thing about each unique feature of every human being is not how it accentuates one person, but how in contributes to one intricate whole. What if that “whole” has nothing to do with socioeconomic status or political preference and everything to do with genuine compassion for the other patches in this quilt? What if we didn’t need some governmental entity to force us into helping our fellowman because we were too busy helping them by choice?

These are just thoughts—hopes and wishes really. I’m a bit of a realist, but I’ve also learned not to be so arrogant as to assume what “reality” can or will entail. I know, however, that humans have a ridiculous proclivity toward selfishness and have trouble caring about other humans past those other humans’ levels of “usefulness.” We all need to learn to love better. We need to discover our places in the fabric and lovingly accept the other pieces attempting to find their places. That’s what this is about.

Hatred

I haven’t ever understood why some say things like, “I hate people,” or “This life would be fantastic if it weren’t for the people,” or even worse, “Ministry would be awesome if people weren’t involved.” What a terribly selfish and disgusting way to live.

People aren’t the problem; depravity is. People don’t need to be wiped out; sin does. You know how I know that all people are worth saving and being patient with? Because every last one of them are worth the life of the Son of God. If God considers all people worth the life of Jesus, who am I to say differently?

If you hate people, it’s your heart that needs to change, not the people around you (they may need to change, but not because you hate them). If you think life, or work, or school would be better without them, then you’ve obviously never attempted to live without the loving arms of a family, keep an entire company running with only your two hands, or educate your own mind with no outside help whatsoever. And if ministry would be better without people, then obviously you have missed the entire purpose of ministry: PEOPLE. Who are you going to minister to without a love for people, a pond full of ducks perhaps?

Ducks

I was sitting by a lake in Waxahachie, Texas last year, watching some ducks waddle around. It was amusing to observe the ducklings as they stumbled over each other in their attempts to follow their mother and as they spent about twice as much time on their heads as they spent on their feet. Watching Mama Duck patiently make circles around the throngs of yellow fluff had me thinking that she knew some exact science to duck herding that I was incapable of seeing.

           

I took a cell-phone video of this comedic, but altogether beautiful moment in time. I looked back at it recently, and it got me thinking: What if the Church is like those little ducks? We’re all pursuing direction and favor from the powers that be. We all want to be the first to get God’s approval and to arrive where He is leading, and we are willing to spend half our lives jumping over our brothers and sisters to get it.  And I wondered if, just like the little ducklings, we too spend an unnecessary amount of time falling on our faces.

           

Then I wondered if God is like Mama Duck, seeing some kind of cosmic science or supernatural sschematic laid over all of our competitive and foolish attempts at obtaining His seal of approval. I wonder if, from His viewpoint, we look like a throng of multicolored fluff, waddling over the weak and the “ugly ducklings” in order to, as we say, get close to Him. It’s funny that we still feel it necessary to seek God’s approval when Jesus already has it and we already have Jesus.

Getting it Right

Jesus Himself said, “Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal.” (emphasis added)

If the Spirit of Christ resides in each believer, then we already have God’s seal of approval because the Father sees us like He sees Jesus, and His seal is upon Jesus. We should look like a gorgeous quilt of God’s various expressions of Himself through humankind, working together to form something breathtaking and spectacular, not a bunch of segmented pieces of fabric cut up by our bitterness and lack of acceptance. Jesus is that common thread, running through us all. This should cause us to embrace and appreciate our differences, so that we can embrace and appreciate each other.

Just like the next man, I want to get this “relationship with God thing” right. But Jesus makes it clear that getting our relationships right with each other will make or break our ability to get our relationships right with Him. God wants His ducks in a row, walking together, learning and growing to maturity. We should be willing to follow each other peacefully as we all follow Him. Thank God that His feathers aren't ruffled so easily by our traffic pile-ups and pointless competitions. He is so patient with us. 

Ministry is amazing because of the people. Life is a kaleidoscope of beauty because of our differences. And hatred has no place in this Kingdom God is establishing through us.

I'm Done Just Being Myself

SCREAMING CHILDREN

A few nights ago, I was lying awake as I often do. When all the plates I'm spinning on any given day come to a halt, they hand over free reign of my mind to my internal thoughts. Unfortunately, my nighttime thoughts are usually more like energetic children begging for another bedtime story than loving companions stroking my hair as I doze off. But the thoughts demanding my attention this particular night felt as if they could lead some place I wanted to go, so I rubbed my eyes, sat up, and prepared to hear a bedtime story. 

Acne

Personal reflection is something every one of us would probably say is vital and profitable until we actually realize what that word reflection means: essentially, attempting to look at oneself the way one actually is, like a face in a mirror. This night, one particularly disturbing zit popped up clearly on the face of my personality. At first I didn't realize it was there because it was one of those that seemed to be concealed beneath the skin. But it was surfacing, and I knew I had to deal with it. 

So, let's deal with it. When I talk to people, I have a tendency to be obnoxious or say things jokingly that unintentionally hurt their feelings. Boom. There it is. I said it. It's true. I know about it; isn't that enough? 

No. 

Just Be Yourself...Or Don't 

Naturally, I started wondering about effective ways to change these tendencies. I thought about becoming more introverted. Yeah, I could be the silent type. If I was quiet, then I would have no opportunity to say something stupid or outright offensive. Then I thought, "Maybe I just need to associate more often with people who can take the remarks I dish out, so that I'm not trying to completely undo myself and start from scratch in the way I converse with others." I realized that these expressions extend from a part of my personality and, by default, a part of my identity.

Obviously, I shouldn't go trying to change something at the core of my personhood. After all, I need to be myself. Some people won't like me, fine. But most people love authenticity. Then, another thought occurred to me: no matter what the hipsters say, people don't love authenticity for the sake of authenticity. If I'm authentically a jerk, people won't even be able to stand being around me, much less like me. 

All of this was getting too scattered for me to handle, so I prayed, "Lord, how can I 'stay true to myself,' as goes the adage, without hurting people?" His response, as often His responses do, took me off guard. 

"When have I told you to 'stay true yourself?'" He asked. I thought about it for a moment...not a single time. My entire idea about staying true to myself had no grounding in God's Word. It was only something I had been told to do in books, or on television, or in songs, or even by authorities in my life. 

Don't get me wrong, God loves us the way we are, but He says nothing about leaving us the way we are. There is nothing biblical about the "just be yourself" mentality that we were all raised in. We should be ourselves, but we shouldn't just be ourselves. If all we think the Gospel is is a free pass on selfish and wrongful behavior, we have another thing coming. The Gospel doesn't say, "Come and be yourself." It says, "Come and die to yourself." 

I'm not called to just be myself; I'm called to be like Jesus. I'm called to be transformed through a mind-renewing process directly tied to my relationship with Christ. 

God loves me. Actually, God genuinely likes me. He made me, every part, even the currently obnoxious ones. But through relationship with Him there is an identity shift. I'm no longer the man I was, and while the expression of my Christlikeness will be different than the expression of your Christlikeness, it will NEVER be an excuse to hurt other people.  

Being Ourselves Like Jesus 

So, here it is: be yourself, but be the yourself the way that only YOU can be like Jesus. If there is a part of yourself that you are labeling "unique" that is actually just hurtful or sinful, it isn't like Jesus. There will always be enough of Jesus to fill the gaps in our identities left by old sinful traits and habits. 

The Church is filled with variety, and it SHOULD BE. God is infinite, and I can't imagine Him being satisfied with an earth full of cookie-cutter people. But because God is infinite, becoming like Him can be expressed individually in an infinite number of ways. There are billions of people throughout history, who can all look and be drastically different from each other while still looking and being like Jesus. That's an incredible thought to me. It's a comforting thought too. It's one of those thoughts I can sleep peacefully to...

Lessons From the Oak Tree Man

I don’t have to like everything you like in order to like you…

For the past nineteen years I have participated in something dangerous to myself and to those around me: I have lived apologetically. Instead of living free, I have chosen to shackle myself to cowardice under the false pretenses of courtesy. As a result, I have had to repeatedly double back and start again down the path of making it clear to those around me where I stand.

Pick an issue; I have probably rolled over and conceded to those who believed differently or argued the thing intelligently (or unintelligently) until bitterness, not merely disagreement, divided me from my opponent. I have allowed my desire to be affirmed or correct to overpower my true need for fellowship, or I have abandoned my beliefs (in word anyway) for the sake of cheap relationships. What I’m realizing is that both of these actions are equally destructive and completely unnecessary.

We live in a world where balance and “somewhere in between” is not permitted to exist. That is, you either agree with me, or I agree with you. If one of those two things doesn’t happen, one or both of us feel shortchanged in the conversation and, often times, the entire relationship. At the end of our conversation, what is most important? That we are still people and perhaps even friends, or that one of us is holding some kind of intangible power over the other?

The Oak Tree

Recently I looked on with great admiration and simply listened quietly (something I should do much more of) as a man I respect was having a conversation about his beliefs on certain issues with a few of his friends. As I was listening, all I could think of was a large, pronounced oak tree, standing alone in a forest where all the other trees had been cut down by many combinations of the “wrong conditions.” I knew, however, that if I could cut into this tree and see the rings, they would be too many to count. This tree has been standing for a long time and has amassed a great deal of wisdom along the way.

A Field Filled With Dead Bark and Lame Excuses

All the other trees that have fallen around this one magnificent Oak would offer a wide range of excuses for their various demises, but I truly believe the core of each excuse was this: To them, whatever they believed in was not worth standing for. They valued the admiration of others more than the lasting strength cultivated by an informed belief sy-stem (like my pun?). Most of these trees cared about people thinking they were right more than they cared about actually believing the truth. So, as soon as the saw the immanent death of their arguments at the hands of some other brutal argument, they were willing to topple over for the sake of remaining like the others.

It isn’t even about being liked more or less; it’s about not having to stand alone. What people fail to understand is that this in and of itself is a belief system. It is a feeble one, but it is the belief that human acceptance will bring more fulfillment than being grounded in the truth. Being right for the sake of being right is not fulfilling. But being right about the important things in life is vitally important to one’s fulfillment.

Those who stand alone will often take harsh hits and willingly accept the brunt force of the strongest storms. But, those who stand alone stand because the approval of others is a minuscule offering in comparison to the depth of truth they are rooted in. At the same time, the wisest of those who remain standing offer their friendship and love to others in spite of differences of opinion.

Open Branches

It IS possible to remain standing without closing one’s arms to others. Think about it, if you and I were to get into a heated debate, only to find ourselves unable to come to an agreement, but one of us then opens our arms to hug the other, will the friendship be damaged or strengthened? If someone I just had an intense argument with comes over to hug me afterward, I would be shocked. But shock would quickly turn to admiration and a deep sense of that person’s loyalty. Those are the kind of people I want to build friendships with: the ones who love me on the basis of my personhood not the contents of my belief system.

An Oak Extends an Olive Branch

Two things matter: 1. Standing upon what you believe to be the truth, and 2. Loving those around you, regardless of whether they agree with you. Both of these things can be done simultaneously!

Back to the Oak Tree Man—I was listening to him, and though he was at times a bit more rough around the edges than I would have been, he knew how to stand for what he believed in because he was standing on what he believed in. And, he had the knowledge to back it up. He could respond well to a few “young firecrackers” (like myself), who knew how to make lots of entertaining, but usually meaningless noise without any real substance behind it. He also knew how to extend branches of compromise, peace, and genuine compassion, even when he saw that there would be no victory. Most importantly, he never moved. He remained who he was and let the others around him be who they were. And that was completely okay.

Making it Practical

We need to know exactly what it is we believe and why we believe it.

If you hold strongly to some aspect of your outlook on life, know what it is you're signing up for and what it entails. Don’t blindly accept things simply because dear old dad accepted them. Be willing to let go of old, outdated prejudices, while retaining the beautiful and rich traditions that make human life better. And if it’s a belief you are willing to argue, know how to argue it eloquently and tactfully, while keeping a cool head and a loving heart.

If this particular belief has passed the first two tests, we need to be willing to stand by it, whether others accept it or not.

If you’ve constructed in your mind what is a flawless argument and others are still unwilling to accept it, remember what is most valuable to you. Your faith should not be compromised for the approval of others. Stand with the Oak Tree. Let your roots grow down deep into the soil of truth and gain life from the sweet ground. Your trunk will take hits, but it will remain standing and sturdy if your roots are soaked in the waters of truth.

We need to know how to talk about our beliefs without being unkind to others.

There is no reason that you cannot walk away from a debate on good terms with your opponent. Be willing to leave the fight in the ring and take the gloves off when you get out. Shake hands; hug a neck; high five; whatever it is you do, but don’t harbor bitterness. That helps no one. You never know if something you said may have sparked a light in that person that he or she has not yet fully realized. It could be that the conversation isn’t over, only put on hold for now.

We need to know that it’s okay when we don’t have all the answers.

We have internet search engines, and most of us are surrounded by people smarter than we are. If you don’t have the answer, just be honest, and change the subject. Then, go home and get the answer. If it is a worthy conversation, you can pick right back up where you left off.

We need to know that no matter how alone we feel, we are never truly alone.

In any case, there is always someone who is willing to stand with you. Or, it may be that you just need to spark a little courage in someone around you, who shares your ideals. If you do find yourself standing alone, know that the truth is stronger than one thousand arguments based in lies, and it is a formidable ally.

Be teachable.

You won’t always be right. Accept that. Learn and grow. Don’t give up on the truth just because you are too lazy to seek it out. And, don’t close your mind so much that you can’t hear the wisdom of those who are more experienced.

Stand, firmly rooted. Love with open branches. Grow in all directions. These are just a few lessons learned from an Oak Tree.

Why Faithfulness in the Little Things is a Big Deal

We've all heard the classic words: "He who is faithful with little will be faithful with much." I cannot count the number of times that I was told to be a "good little boy" in my youth, so I could grow to be a successful adult. It was this mindset that caused me to view life as a staircase, with each step leading me to the "much" that I can be faithful with. I always wondered when it would be my turn to be faithful with much because the little things weren't satisfying my desire to prove just how faithful I could be. 

We can all agree that the abundance of our choices seem small, with a few exceptionally big decisions scattered throughout our time here like speckles on a Dalmatian puppy. It's easy to believe that these small rungs should gradually be replaced by bigger steps in each category of life: work, family, friendships, education, et cetera. We are programmed to "climb the ladder" from an early age. While it is certainly true that some life-altering decisions, such as whom to marry, when to have kids, and whether or not to take an available promotion will likely affect the ultimate outcomes of our lives more than the brand of coffee we drink in the mornings, it's not these decisions alone that comprise the essence of life. 

The danger of the "climb-the-ladder" mentality is that it sets us up to be stagnant, complacent, or even frustrated when we aren't being faced by decisions with greater ripple effects. We can easily develop a constant need to prove ourselves and be approved. The 9 to 5 can get boring. The student's desk and class lectures can grow unbearably dull. The nightly family dinner conversations can become overfamiliar and monotonous. We begin to view these daily routines and seemingly minor decisions as mere steppingstones to the next "much"-level challenge. 

Why is this dangerous? Because it devalues these little things in our eyes. The fact that something is small doesn’t make it unimportant. 

….

I have often felt like the bulk of my life is a series of insignificant events, and it can cause me to live from big decision to big decision, instead of simply being content and focused on being the best I can be where I'm at. It short-circuits my daily effectiveness and can even foster arrogance and/or lethargy when approaching the day-to-day demands of life.

It's important to recognize two things: First - We are not too important for the small things. Second - The small things are too important to do half-heartedly. 

Think of it this way. If I could string together each and every small choice in life and create one huge patchwork quilt, representing just one decision, the importance of that one decision would probably far outweigh the importance of every big decision put together because the ratio of small decisions to big decisions is huge. Each and every day is important because (excuse the cliché) we truly don't know how many days we have. And a human life is one extraordinarily large "much" to be faithful with. 

….

Faithfulness is not contingent upon the size of the object, but the character of the subject. It is a condition of the heart and mind. If I am a faithful person, I'll be as faithful in any size task because I won't view the size of my situation as the fulcrum upon which my character is resting. If I am a flaky person, I'll be just as flaky in my largest endeavors as I am in my smallest concerns because my very nature is one that lacks commitment and perseverance. 

A faithful person is a faithful person because he or she has prioritized faithfulness, not because a certain situation demands faithfulness more than another. If I allow a certain situation to demand a greater level of integrity than another, then I have forfeited control of my character to external circumstances, which is a terribly confining and destructive way to live. I and I alone have control over the kind of person I am, and if I allow the kind of person I am to change from decision to decision, then I will be unstable and unhappy. If I don't establish the kind of person I will be before I approach each and every decision, then the outcome of my decisions will establish my character for me. 

Of course, this is not to say that we should stretch ourselves thin, trying to do everything. We should prioritize where we spend our time and efforts. But we should do everything we choose to do with a good heart, a resolute mind, and a positive attitude. If we can't devote those attributes to whatever it is we are doing, the action should probably not be done.

3 Ways My Faith Has Changed in the Past Year

While reading a blog post from a much more accomplished writer than myself, I was inspired to take a shot at answering the question he issued at the end of the piece: "How has your faith changed in the last ten years?" Being the ripe old age of nineteen, I am going to edit the question a bit and answer this one instead: "How has your faith changed in the last year?" I feel this question is more appropriate and applicable to my current place in the progression of life. 

The nature of a question like this is so broad that it is practically impossible to answer in its fullness, considering the reasonable amount of characters allotted in a blog post and the likely brief amount of time I possess readers' attention. So, I am going to stick to three major things that have changed about my faith in the past year. These are not theological in nature as much as they are relational, which, as Don Miller points out in the aforementioned blog post, is how it should be. 

So, here we go.

1. I've stopped questioning whether or not I'm hearing God's voice all the time. 

Jesus spends the greater portion of John chapter 10 talking about the nature of His relationship with those who believe in Him. He is the Shepherd, and we are His sheep. In verse 27, He makes it clear, "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." It's that simple. Half the time, I think we override the easily-identifiable, inner voice of our Good Shepherd with our constant bleating. Our fear of missing His voice is so loud and so constant in our minds that it drowns out His voice. 

A man I respect very much once told me that, while humans must resort to symbols, gestures, and sounds to communicate, our omnipotent God can bypass those limiting channels of communication and speak directly to our minds, indeed our hearts. The closer we grow to Him through the simple act of choosing to spend time with Him, the more we learn to recognize when those transcendent thoughts that pop into our heads are not flowing from our meager intellects, but the voice of our truly brilliant Creator, speaking in a way that is relatable and unique to each one of us. 

The more of the Scriptures I commit to memory, both concepts and word-for-word quotations, the easier it is to identify the kinds of things God speaks. When you know what someone's voice sounds like, you can embrace the content of what is being spoken without fear. I am not advocating a prayer-less life. I am, in fact, encouraging a constant flow of prayerful communication with the Lord. Don't believe the lie that we leave Him by our bedsides in the morning. He is with us, and He speaks to us. 

2. I quit doing "devotions." 

For this to make sense, one has to look at the definition for this often-misunderstood word. Devotion is defined as, "love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause." This understanding of such a powerful word indicates that we cannot do devotion as much as we can live devoted. I realized that time with anyone I love is expected and understood to be an obvious part cultivating relationship. Things like scheduled "prayer time," Scripture reading, and internalizing wise biblical teaching are excellent and contribute to our growth in knowledge of God, which Colossians makes clear is vital to living "a life worthy of the Lord," but these acts in themselves are not the essence of devotion. Devotion is a state of being, not a mere act of doing. 

I wish I could quote the entire body of Scripture word-for-word, but even if I could, it would not mean my heart is truly devoted in complete loyalty to my Lord anymore than being able to quote every T.S. Eliot poem would mean I am Eliot's faithful manservant. I believe, true devotion reveals itself in what some would consider subtleties. Things like peaceful countenance, acts of obedience, high levels of patience, and, most evidently, the Fruit of the Spirit are the essence of devotion in human lives.

My devotion to God is as much about my love for His people as it is about my love for Him. It is imperative that I cherish His people as the treasures that they are and encourage them with the highest levels of enthusiasm I can muster. God cares about His sheep, and His love for me is just as infinite and baffling for the person sitting next to me right now. By acting with compassion and grace toward my fellowman, I am showing more devotion to God than I ever could by reading a fifteen-minute "devotional." By all means, read the books and learn and grow, but understand that devotion is found in the heart of a person, not the rituals of his or her mornings and evenings. This understanding has become foundational to my faith. 

3. I learned the difference between wanting to know God's plan and wanting to know God. 

This is one of the most important things I have learned thus far. For so long, I had my life plan etched into the recesses of my mind. I so desperately wanted to know what God thought of my plans, which got my asking about His plans, which made me think I could somehow reconcile the two. Now I understand that God's plans are His own to reveal if and when He chooses to do so. They WILL come to pass in spite of myself, and I can either get on board and ride the train smoothly or spend my life tied by the wrist to the caboose and running just to keep up. 

I have come to terms with the fact that I could lay my head to rest tonight in a completely different situation than I was in when I woke up this morning. And that's okay. In fact, it's much more interesting. I firmly believe we can make idols out of God's plan. He asks that we seek Him and simply follow as He lights up the path we are to take. If I were to already know the exact direction I should be walking in, why would His light be necessary? His purposeful concealment of big-picture, divine understanding from us is for our good. It is designed to lead us into a deeper relationship with this all-knowing Messiah we are walking with, and it keeps us reliant upon His peace that is much more satisfying to our souls than understanding. Not knowing exactly where I am headed keeps me from attempting to run ahead. Jesus is more interested in getting to know each other on the journey than He is in me simply getting to the destination. If I got to the destination without the molding process of the journey, I would not be a person worthy to enter the destination. 

We don't even have the mental capacity to process all of the infinite variables that God sees in His absolute sovereignty. But that's just it, if God is absolutely sovereign over all things, and we are held tightly in His grasp, why would we have anything in our hearts but absolute trust? It's more fun to trust God and get to know Him than it would be to know His plan for this earthly life. Besides, our ultimate goal is the same, right? We only have a handful of decades down here anyway. 



Faith evolves, and I am in the midst of constant, beautiful changes that lead me closer to the God I hope to someday love with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength in practice, not simply in theory. These are just a few of the ways I have observed these changes happening in my own life. In the spirit of this piece's inspiration, I will conclude with a question: How as your faith changed over the past (insert span of time here)? 



A special thanks goes out to Donald Miller and Scott Wilson, whose work and teaching have inspired the content of this article.