The Long-suffering Process of Duck Herding

Quilts

What if the defining elements of our uniqueness are not what set us apart from our fellowman, but the things that knit us together? What if our individual characteristics are designed to be small, beautiful shapes sewn within a massive quilt of pristine patchwork? What if individualism is not about rising above other humans on the ladder or isolating ourselves from them, but finding out how our own skills, talents, desires, and personalities unite around a common thread that runs through us all?

Perhaps the most glorious thing about each unique feature of every human being is not how it accentuates one person, but how in contributes to one intricate whole. What if that “whole” has nothing to do with socioeconomic status or political preference and everything to do with genuine compassion for the other patches in this quilt? What if we didn’t need some governmental entity to force us into helping our fellowman because we were too busy helping them by choice?

These are just thoughts—hopes and wishes really. I’m a bit of a realist, but I’ve also learned not to be so arrogant as to assume what “reality” can or will entail. I know, however, that humans have a ridiculous proclivity toward selfishness and have trouble caring about other humans past those other humans’ levels of “usefulness.” We all need to learn to love better. We need to discover our places in the fabric and lovingly accept the other pieces attempting to find their places. That’s what this is about.

Hatred

I haven’t ever understood why some say things like, “I hate people,” or “This life would be fantastic if it weren’t for the people,” or even worse, “Ministry would be awesome if people weren’t involved.” What a terribly selfish and disgusting way to live.

People aren’t the problem; depravity is. People don’t need to be wiped out; sin does. You know how I know that all people are worth saving and being patient with? Because every last one of them are worth the life of the Son of God. If God considers all people worth the life of Jesus, who am I to say differently?

If you hate people, it’s your heart that needs to change, not the people around you (they may need to change, but not because you hate them). If you think life, or work, or school would be better without them, then you’ve obviously never attempted to live without the loving arms of a family, keep an entire company running with only your two hands, or educate your own mind with no outside help whatsoever. And if ministry would be better without people, then obviously you have missed the entire purpose of ministry: PEOPLE. Who are you going to minister to without a love for people, a pond full of ducks perhaps?

Ducks

I was sitting by a lake in Waxahachie, Texas last year, watching some ducks waddle around. It was amusing to observe the ducklings as they stumbled over each other in their attempts to follow their mother and as they spent about twice as much time on their heads as they spent on their feet. Watching Mama Duck patiently make circles around the throngs of yellow fluff had me thinking that she knew some exact science to duck herding that I was incapable of seeing.

           

I took a cell-phone video of this comedic, but altogether beautiful moment in time. I looked back at it recently, and it got me thinking: What if the Church is like those little ducks? We’re all pursuing direction and favor from the powers that be. We all want to be the first to get God’s approval and to arrive where He is leading, and we are willing to spend half our lives jumping over our brothers and sisters to get it.  And I wondered if, just like the little ducklings, we too spend an unnecessary amount of time falling on our faces.

           

Then I wondered if God is like Mama Duck, seeing some kind of cosmic science or supernatural sschematic laid over all of our competitive and foolish attempts at obtaining His seal of approval. I wonder if, from His viewpoint, we look like a throng of multicolored fluff, waddling over the weak and the “ugly ducklings” in order to, as we say, get close to Him. It’s funny that we still feel it necessary to seek God’s approval when Jesus already has it and we already have Jesus.

Getting it Right

Jesus Himself said, “Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you. For on him God the Father has set his seal.” (emphasis added)

If the Spirit of Christ resides in each believer, then we already have God’s seal of approval because the Father sees us like He sees Jesus, and His seal is upon Jesus. We should look like a gorgeous quilt of God’s various expressions of Himself through humankind, working together to form something breathtaking and spectacular, not a bunch of segmented pieces of fabric cut up by our bitterness and lack of acceptance. Jesus is that common thread, running through us all. This should cause us to embrace and appreciate our differences, so that we can embrace and appreciate each other.

Just like the next man, I want to get this “relationship with God thing” right. But Jesus makes it clear that getting our relationships right with each other will make or break our ability to get our relationships right with Him. God wants His ducks in a row, walking together, learning and growing to maturity. We should be willing to follow each other peacefully as we all follow Him. Thank God that His feathers aren't ruffled so easily by our traffic pile-ups and pointless competitions. He is so patient with us. 

Ministry is amazing because of the people. Life is a kaleidoscope of beauty because of our differences. And hatred has no place in this Kingdom God is establishing through us.

I'm Done Just Being Myself

SCREAMING CHILDREN

A few nights ago, I was lying awake as I often do. When all the plates I'm spinning on any given day come to a halt, they hand over free reign of my mind to my internal thoughts. Unfortunately, my nighttime thoughts are usually more like energetic children begging for another bedtime story than loving companions stroking my hair as I doze off. But the thoughts demanding my attention this particular night felt as if they could lead some place I wanted to go, so I rubbed my eyes, sat up, and prepared to hear a bedtime story. 

Acne

Personal reflection is something every one of us would probably say is vital and profitable until we actually realize what that word reflection means: essentially, attempting to look at oneself the way one actually is, like a face in a mirror. This night, one particularly disturbing zit popped up clearly on the face of my personality. At first I didn't realize it was there because it was one of those that seemed to be concealed beneath the skin. But it was surfacing, and I knew I had to deal with it. 

So, let's deal with it. When I talk to people, I have a tendency to be obnoxious or say things jokingly that unintentionally hurt their feelings. Boom. There it is. I said it. It's true. I know about it; isn't that enough? 

No. 

Just Be Yourself...Or Don't 

Naturally, I started wondering about effective ways to change these tendencies. I thought about becoming more introverted. Yeah, I could be the silent type. If I was quiet, then I would have no opportunity to say something stupid or outright offensive. Then I thought, "Maybe I just need to associate more often with people who can take the remarks I dish out, so that I'm not trying to completely undo myself and start from scratch in the way I converse with others." I realized that these expressions extend from a part of my personality and, by default, a part of my identity.

Obviously, I shouldn't go trying to change something at the core of my personhood. After all, I need to be myself. Some people won't like me, fine. But most people love authenticity. Then, another thought occurred to me: no matter what the hipsters say, people don't love authenticity for the sake of authenticity. If I'm authentically a jerk, people won't even be able to stand being around me, much less like me. 

All of this was getting too scattered for me to handle, so I prayed, "Lord, how can I 'stay true to myself,' as goes the adage, without hurting people?" His response, as often His responses do, took me off guard. 

"When have I told you to 'stay true yourself?'" He asked. I thought about it for a moment...not a single time. My entire idea about staying true to myself had no grounding in God's Word. It was only something I had been told to do in books, or on television, or in songs, or even by authorities in my life. 

Don't get me wrong, God loves us the way we are, but He says nothing about leaving us the way we are. There is nothing biblical about the "just be yourself" mentality that we were all raised in. We should be ourselves, but we shouldn't just be ourselves. If all we think the Gospel is is a free pass on selfish and wrongful behavior, we have another thing coming. The Gospel doesn't say, "Come and be yourself." It says, "Come and die to yourself." 

I'm not called to just be myself; I'm called to be like Jesus. I'm called to be transformed through a mind-renewing process directly tied to my relationship with Christ. 

God loves me. Actually, God genuinely likes me. He made me, every part, even the currently obnoxious ones. But through relationship with Him there is an identity shift. I'm no longer the man I was, and while the expression of my Christlikeness will be different than the expression of your Christlikeness, it will NEVER be an excuse to hurt other people.  

Being Ourselves Like Jesus 

So, here it is: be yourself, but be the yourself the way that only YOU can be like Jesus. If there is a part of yourself that you are labeling "unique" that is actually just hurtful or sinful, it isn't like Jesus. There will always be enough of Jesus to fill the gaps in our identities left by old sinful traits and habits. 

The Church is filled with variety, and it SHOULD BE. God is infinite, and I can't imagine Him being satisfied with an earth full of cookie-cutter people. But because God is infinite, becoming like Him can be expressed individually in an infinite number of ways. There are billions of people throughout history, who can all look and be drastically different from each other while still looking and being like Jesus. That's an incredible thought to me. It's a comforting thought too. It's one of those thoughts I can sleep peacefully to...

Lessons From the Oak Tree Man

I don’t have to like everything you like in order to like you…

For the past nineteen years I have participated in something dangerous to myself and to those around me: I have lived apologetically. Instead of living free, I have chosen to shackle myself to cowardice under the false pretenses of courtesy. As a result, I have had to repeatedly double back and start again down the path of making it clear to those around me where I stand.

Pick an issue; I have probably rolled over and conceded to those who believed differently or argued the thing intelligently (or unintelligently) until bitterness, not merely disagreement, divided me from my opponent. I have allowed my desire to be affirmed or correct to overpower my true need for fellowship, or I have abandoned my beliefs (in word anyway) for the sake of cheap relationships. What I’m realizing is that both of these actions are equally destructive and completely unnecessary.

We live in a world where balance and “somewhere in between” is not permitted to exist. That is, you either agree with me, or I agree with you. If one of those two things doesn’t happen, one or both of us feel shortchanged in the conversation and, often times, the entire relationship. At the end of our conversation, what is most important? That we are still people and perhaps even friends, or that one of us is holding some kind of intangible power over the other?

The Oak Tree

Recently I looked on with great admiration and simply listened quietly (something I should do much more of) as a man I respect was having a conversation about his beliefs on certain issues with a few of his friends. As I was listening, all I could think of was a large, pronounced oak tree, standing alone in a forest where all the other trees had been cut down by many combinations of the “wrong conditions.” I knew, however, that if I could cut into this tree and see the rings, they would be too many to count. This tree has been standing for a long time and has amassed a great deal of wisdom along the way.

A Field Filled With Dead Bark and Lame Excuses

All the other trees that have fallen around this one magnificent Oak would offer a wide range of excuses for their various demises, but I truly believe the core of each excuse was this: To them, whatever they believed in was not worth standing for. They valued the admiration of others more than the lasting strength cultivated by an informed belief sy-stem (like my pun?). Most of these trees cared about people thinking they were right more than they cared about actually believing the truth. So, as soon as the saw the immanent death of their arguments at the hands of some other brutal argument, they were willing to topple over for the sake of remaining like the others.

It isn’t even about being liked more or less; it’s about not having to stand alone. What people fail to understand is that this in and of itself is a belief system. It is a feeble one, but it is the belief that human acceptance will bring more fulfillment than being grounded in the truth. Being right for the sake of being right is not fulfilling. But being right about the important things in life is vitally important to one’s fulfillment.

Those who stand alone will often take harsh hits and willingly accept the brunt force of the strongest storms. But, those who stand alone stand because the approval of others is a minuscule offering in comparison to the depth of truth they are rooted in. At the same time, the wisest of those who remain standing offer their friendship and love to others in spite of differences of opinion.

Open Branches

It IS possible to remain standing without closing one’s arms to others. Think about it, if you and I were to get into a heated debate, only to find ourselves unable to come to an agreement, but one of us then opens our arms to hug the other, will the friendship be damaged or strengthened? If someone I just had an intense argument with comes over to hug me afterward, I would be shocked. But shock would quickly turn to admiration and a deep sense of that person’s loyalty. Those are the kind of people I want to build friendships with: the ones who love me on the basis of my personhood not the contents of my belief system.

An Oak Extends an Olive Branch

Two things matter: 1. Standing upon what you believe to be the truth, and 2. Loving those around you, regardless of whether they agree with you. Both of these things can be done simultaneously!

Back to the Oak Tree Man—I was listening to him, and though he was at times a bit more rough around the edges than I would have been, he knew how to stand for what he believed in because he was standing on what he believed in. And, he had the knowledge to back it up. He could respond well to a few “young firecrackers” (like myself), who knew how to make lots of entertaining, but usually meaningless noise without any real substance behind it. He also knew how to extend branches of compromise, peace, and genuine compassion, even when he saw that there would be no victory. Most importantly, he never moved. He remained who he was and let the others around him be who they were. And that was completely okay.

Making it Practical

We need to know exactly what it is we believe and why we believe it.

If you hold strongly to some aspect of your outlook on life, know what it is you're signing up for and what it entails. Don’t blindly accept things simply because dear old dad accepted them. Be willing to let go of old, outdated prejudices, while retaining the beautiful and rich traditions that make human life better. And if it’s a belief you are willing to argue, know how to argue it eloquently and tactfully, while keeping a cool head and a loving heart.

If this particular belief has passed the first two tests, we need to be willing to stand by it, whether others accept it or not.

If you’ve constructed in your mind what is a flawless argument and others are still unwilling to accept it, remember what is most valuable to you. Your faith should not be compromised for the approval of others. Stand with the Oak Tree. Let your roots grow down deep into the soil of truth and gain life from the sweet ground. Your trunk will take hits, but it will remain standing and sturdy if your roots are soaked in the waters of truth.

We need to know how to talk about our beliefs without being unkind to others.

There is no reason that you cannot walk away from a debate on good terms with your opponent. Be willing to leave the fight in the ring and take the gloves off when you get out. Shake hands; hug a neck; high five; whatever it is you do, but don’t harbor bitterness. That helps no one. You never know if something you said may have sparked a light in that person that he or she has not yet fully realized. It could be that the conversation isn’t over, only put on hold for now.

We need to know that it’s okay when we don’t have all the answers.

We have internet search engines, and most of us are surrounded by people smarter than we are. If you don’t have the answer, just be honest, and change the subject. Then, go home and get the answer. If it is a worthy conversation, you can pick right back up where you left off.

We need to know that no matter how alone we feel, we are never truly alone.

In any case, there is always someone who is willing to stand with you. Or, it may be that you just need to spark a little courage in someone around you, who shares your ideals. If you do find yourself standing alone, know that the truth is stronger than one thousand arguments based in lies, and it is a formidable ally.

Be teachable.

You won’t always be right. Accept that. Learn and grow. Don’t give up on the truth just because you are too lazy to seek it out. And, don’t close your mind so much that you can’t hear the wisdom of those who are more experienced.

Stand, firmly rooted. Love with open branches. Grow in all directions. These are just a few lessons learned from an Oak Tree.